Some time ago, I met a cool dude online. Joel. His videos reonated deeply. They fueled the MATTLR Engine Room.
I asked Joel to share his story and I proposed a few anchor-questions.
The reply was sterling. Thanks mate, for taking the time to supply a remarkable and comprehensive reply.
I find it inspiring.
WHEN YOU SAY ‘EXIT STRATEGY,’ IS IT A MOVE OR A FEELING?
For me, it’s the feeling. Naming the itch to leave. I want to be out there, uncertainty, a bit of money, petrol in the tank, cheap food. Not much more. Just enough to go.
WHAT’S YOUR CORE WORK PHILOSOPHY NOW: BUILD, ENDURE, DETACH?
These days: endure and detach. I work in government, low stress, decent people, steady pay. A comfort bubble.
I used to want to build. Then I left for New Zealand with no plan. Slept rough. Ran 14 km to a bungee jump. Hitchhiked. Made friends. Came back honey-brown and hungry for more.
I returned. Tried to settle. Love, savings, broke up.
September 2024: same routine, no partner. Mental health tanked. Booked leave, strapped my bag to my bike, rode north. It was beautiful. Hard. Never lonely. I came back feeling human again. Now? I endure until I can go again.
AT WORK, WHAT SLIPPED FIRST: MOTIVATION, VALUES, PURPOSE?
Sense of purpose. This job only gives me money and flexibility. I’m grateful, but it’s not a reason to wake up.
DO YOU SEE GROWTH IN THE JOB, OR IS FEAR KEEPING YOU PUT?
Hardly any growth left. And yeah, I’m scared I’ll leave and get stuck somewhere worse. Classic grass-is-greener.
HOW DO YOU KEEP YOURSELF INTACT AT WORK?
I do my job well. Nothing more. I’ve acted in higher roles, the extra pay’s not worth the extra stress.
Outside work: gym 4–5 days a week, treat myself well, don’t take it too seriously. My work performance is an echo of how I’m doing outside it.
IS THIS REALLY ABOUT THE JOB, OR SOMETHING DEEPER?
Always something deeper.
Anxiety owned me as a kid. Panic attacks. Hospitals. Pills. Couldn’t leave the house. Bullied for a stutter. I believed I’d die of a panic attack before 15.
Early 20s, I pushed back. Moved out. Travelled. Bought a motorbike. Smoked. Anything to flip anxiety the finger. The stress I tolerated back then did more harm than cigarettes ever did.
Now I’m done tolerating average.
The job’s fine. The life’s fine. But I want movement again, before the world pins me down for good. I’m 24. I’ve got a spark. I’m running with it while I can.
Most exits don’t start with a door. They start with an itch. Joel’s got it. Do you?
Joel dissected his life.He named what wasn’t good enough. Naming the monsters drags them into the light. That takes courage.
Respect.
Safe travels my fiend.
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